24:58

I just ran my fastest 5K this morning... 24:58. WOOHOO! That's an average 8:05 mile. I was going for speed today and just hoping to PR. I broke my old record by 48 seconds! Also, I ran 10.3 miles on Saturday, the longest I've ran since I had my knee injury in April and it felt great, no knee pain! My next race, the Hobble Creek Half Marathon, is on August 22nd. Only 26 days to go!

Falling in Love

I've never 'loved' running. I remember in high school dreading our conditioning days during volleyball season. I hated that pukey feeling I got after each workout. I thought people who joined the cross country team were a little nuts because who could find running 'fun'? Who would choose to go run 5 or 10 miles just for the heck of it? Well, I believe I have officially become that 'crazy' person.

It has been so nice to check out of life for awhile. We were in Lincoln City, Oregon last week with Jake's family. I loved seeing the ocean every day and even made time to run while we were there. I got in about 20 miles last week. Now these next two weeks the kids and I are at my parent's house while I get ready for my 10-year reunion. It's been great spending time with my parents and seeing old friends. (The only bad part about this week is Emma and Josh both got pink eye, but with antibiotics they are getting better.)

So I have had an interesting realization since I've been here. Tuesday morning I went for a run in an area I know very well. As I ran on this familiar street, I realized I was seeing everything so differently than I did just 10 years ago. I can't tell you how many times I sped through this street in my parents' toyota tercel. Not once do I remember slowing down and looking around at the beauty that surrounded me. Just two miles from my parents' house there are open roads and farmland, apple orchards, dairy farms. It's incredible, like out of a storybook. I don't think as an 18-year old I ever cared enough to slow down and enjoy life. I'm not going to lie, when I come back home for a visit I always feel a broad range of emotions, a lot of them good and some not so good. My last memories of living here are not great ones. I left for college on a bad note with my parents and a lot of my friends. I was so lost. I wonder if I had seen these roads for what they really were 10 years ago, my life might have been very different. Who knows. I'm just thankful that now I can see the beauty around me and recognize it for what it is. This morning I ran down a dirt road, past some apple orchards, a wheat field, and a dairy farm. I could smell the cows and hay. The weather was perfect. There was a slight breeze, but not cold enough to be uncomfortable. It was just right. The only sound I could hear was the sound of the rocks crunching under my feet (and my iPod bud in one ear... can't live without my music!) I realized this morning that when I run, I run for me. It's my only time to be selfish and take a break from life for an hour or two. I have no mask to wear, nothing to hide. I can think about whatever I want and not get interrupted, or I don't have to think about anything at all. It doesn't matter. I find myself falling in love... falling in love with Oregon, and running, and life. It's that good.

(PS The picture was taken from my cell this morning on my run. It doesn't do the scenery justice, but at least you get a small taste of the heaven I'm experiencing here. Also, I know this post is a tad cheesy. I just have had such a hard time these past couple weeks, that these runs have taken me by surprise. Tender mercies... that's what this is.)

We Are Not Forgotten

This past week has been a very hard one for me. First my grandmother passed away on Monday. It was expected but still sad to know I won't see her again in this life. Her funeral was beautiful and went very well. It was a good teaching moment for Ben and Emma. We taught them about how our spirits make us who we are and when we die our spirits are no longer with our bodies, but with Jesus and Heavenly Father. They both asked a lot of questions and I didn't know how they would do, seeing Great-Grandma McDonald's body in her casket, but both of them did fine. Ben was very interested in the whole situation and I feel he sort of understood the impact of all of this. Emma, on the other hand, asked my Grammy Call (the other Great-Grandma) when she was going to "get old and die and then we would put her in a hole." Nice. I can't say my kids have a lot of tact, but what kids do?! (Sorry, Grammy! You better not be going anywhere for a very long time!)

Well, besides the funeral, more trials keep coming. I'm not going to lie, my faith has been shaky and I have felt very low this past week. I kept praying for strength and peace and just wasn't getting it. There was a fast today, though, and as I broke my fast I felt strengthened. Then tonight I noticed our monthly ward newsletter that came today. To be honest, I don't always read the whole thing through but the first line in the Bishopric Message caught my attention and I read the entire article. It was titled "Recognizing the Lord's Blessings When It Doesn't Seem Like We Are Being Blessed." It hit me like a ton of bricks. I have been focusing so much on my problems and thinking that I've been "forgotten" when deep down I know that's not the case. Sometimes it feels that way when trials come, but the trials come to make us better and stronger. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. I also know I am infinitely blessed. As I put my little Joshie to bed tonight and sang him "I Love to See the Temple" I couldn't help but think of my beautiful, healthy children who are 3 of my biggest blessings. I know I have a lot to be grateful for. It's just so hard to see sometimes when road bumps come along.

I don't want to go into detail about what's going on but felt I needed to at least write about the things I have felt today that have given me a little bit of peace that I've been praying for all week. I'm sure everyone can relate. Trials stink. Thank goodness they don't last forever!

1 Year With Gold's Gym and the NSL 5K

My neighbor, Susi Mabey, and I just after running the NSL 5K this morning

June 28, 2008 at Taylorsville Dayzz with Mallory, my sister-in-law, and Jan, my mother-in-law (2 days after I started working out at Gold's Gym)

Yesterday was my one year anniversary of starting at Gold's Gym. June 26th, 2008 I had my first session with my trainer. I remember Kenton pushed me so hard I thought I was going to puke. My arms were shaky afterward and I had a hard time putting Josh into his carseat after the session. I felt completely out of shape, but 100% motivated. Since then it's been up and down but thankfully there have been MANY more ups than downs. Working out is apart of my life now and I couldn't imagine not being active. I love pushing myself to the limit and sweating (something I don't think I've ever said my entire life.) I've ran a 10K and a half marathon. I've lost 35 lbs. and dropped tons of inches. My energy level most days is sky high. I can wrestle with the kids and not get winded. I can race Ben across the yard as many times as he wants and I don't break a sweat. I love to do hard exercises and when I feel like I'm done, I like to push myself an extra couple seconds, just because I know I can. I feel strong physically and mentally. The great part about all of this is I've realized there is no limit to what I can do. My entire life I thought the smallest I could be was 140 and in a size 10. I never thought I could have muscle definition in my arms or legs, or that my stomach could shrink to a normal size. It's been amazing, mentally, figuring out that I can break barriers. It's all about how hard I want to push. If you work at a mediocre level you get mediocre results. You push yourself harder and eventually you will see results that you never thought were possible. I'm so glad I joined Gold's last year and glad I finally decided to take my life into my own hands and make the change I've been dreaming of for years.

I ran a 5K this morning with my sweet friend, Susi Mabey. I actually remember last year seeing a flyer for this race and wanting to do it, but at that point I was SO sore from my first session with my trainer I knew there was no way I could go run 3 miles. I vowed that next year I would do it. The last official 5K I ran was in May 2004. I believe my time was 31 min. My goal today was to get under 27 and my time was 26:54. I was excited that I reached my goal but afterward I felt a tad disappointed in myself because I realized I could have pushed even harder than I did. Oh well... a goal for next time. :)

Amazing Little Girls

Emma started a princess dance camp this week at her dance studio. Yesterday was her first day and as we got out of the van I noticed these two little girls, dressed in leotards, pushing their walkers with one leg. I was immediately entranced by these twin girls. I overheard their mom talking to Emma's dance teacher, talking about an Oprah episode they were just on last month. I went to Oprah's website and found the story on these twins. They were conjoined and separated 3 years ago. As I watched at the end of Emma's class yesterday, I saw them participate in a cute routine, scooting their walkers around and waving their arms, doing the dance moves. They truly are inspiring.

Here is the Oprah story. They also have a website, too. Their mom, Erin, is very sweet and I'm looking forward to getting to know her this week. Anyway, more heroes to add to my list!

What happened??!

The last time I checked I had a baby boy named Josh. It's hard to believe he is almost two and not a baby anymore. Two days ago Jake and I were talking about how we should probably get Josh used to a toddler bed since in 3 weeks we will be leaving for Oregon and the crib isn't coming with us. We debated bringing the pack'n'play but Josh hates that thing so we figured it would be better to get him used to sleeping on a mattress now and then he will be used to it when we leave. Well, for some reason this whole process has been harder for me to handle this time around than it was for the other two kids. When we transitioned Ben and Emma we did it because another baby was on the way and it was out of necessity. With Josh there is no baby on the way, and yet we're kind of pushing him to the next step of "big-boyhood." As I took apart his crib I kept thinking how all three kids used it and now it might become just a thing to store, as Josh might be our last kid. It was a little sad and I had a little tug at my heart as I put the thing away and set-up his toddler bed. I know in a way it's exciting that my little guy isn't so 'little' anymore but I think a mom has the right to feel a little sad... mourning the loss of infanthood. Well, look on the bright side, at least I still have potty training to look forward to... ugh. (Actually not looking forward to that one so if anyone wants to jump in and take over, be my guest!)

Josh in his crib a couple months ago. He sits like this sometimes when he's watching Blues Clues or just chilling in his carseat. It's so cute!


Hard to believe Emma used to be so little!


And here is little Ben, also enjoying his mobile. (I don't know what it was about that mobile but ALL the kids loved it. Also, another thing put into storage long ago which may never get used in our household again... shed a tear)

Dance Recital- 2009

Emma's recital went well last night. She was so excited all day and couldn't wait to perform (especially since her two cousins were coming to watch her.) Emma had me replay her dress rehearsal video over and over and showed me each step and told me what she was supposed to do. She loved getting her hair and make-up done and has now fallen in-love with mascara. Yikes! Her two dances went great and she loved being in the spotlight. She had a hard time watching all the girls before her because she kept wanting it to be her turn. Thanks to all the family for coming out and sitting through two hours of little girls' dances. Emma loved having you there to cheer her on. Good job, Emma! We love you.

All the girls in Emma's class (3 of them are sunbeams with her in our ward.)


Emma and her dance teacher, Stephanie Russell. (Steph owns the Jazz Studio, used to be a Utah Jazz dancer, teaches dance classes at the studio, and teaches classes at Gold's Gym... she's awesome and Emma loves her.)


Emma with her uncle Pete and aunt Mal. Thanks for coming, guys!


Jake's parents, us, aunt Melanie, aunt Katie, and cousins Hannah and Isabelle


Emma with her two cousins, Hannah and Isabelle (Hannah had a dance recital tonight so they were able to watch each other perform on different nights. Hannah's a great dancer, too!)


Emma showing her flower and trophy as we were leaving the recital.