This past week has been a very hard one for me. First my grandmother passed away on Monday. It was expected but still sad to know I won't see her again in this life. Her funeral was beautiful and went very well. It was a good teaching moment for Ben and Emma. We taught them about how our spirits make us who we are and when we die our spirits are no longer with our bodies, but with Jesus and Heavenly Father. They both asked a lot of questions and I didn't know how they would do, seeing Great-Grandma McDonald's body in her casket, but both of them did fine. Ben was very interested in the whole situation and I feel he sort of understood the impact of all of this. Emma, on the other hand, asked my Grammy Call (the other Great-Grandma) when she was going to "get old and die and then we would put her in a hole." Nice. I can't say my kids have a lot of tact, but what kids do?! (Sorry, Grammy! You better not be going anywhere for a very long time!)
Well, besides the funeral, more trials keep coming. I'm not going to lie, my faith has been shaky and I have felt very low this past week. I kept praying for strength and peace and just wasn't getting it. There was a fast today, though, and as I broke my fast I felt strengthened. Then tonight I noticed our monthly ward newsletter that came today. To be honest, I don't always read the whole thing through but the first line in the Bishopric Message caught my attention and I read the entire article. It was titled "Recognizing the Lord's Blessings When It Doesn't Seem Like We Are Being Blessed." It hit me like a ton of bricks. I have been focusing so much on my problems and thinking that I've been "forgotten" when deep down I know that's not the case. Sometimes it feels that way when trials come, but the trials come to make us better and stronger. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. I also know I am infinitely blessed. As I put my little Joshie to bed tonight and sang him "I Love to See the Temple" I couldn't help but think of my beautiful, healthy children who are 3 of my biggest blessings. I know I have a lot to be grateful for. It's just so hard to see sometimes when road bumps come along.
I don't want to go into detail about what's going on but felt I needed to at least write about the things I have felt today that have given me a little bit of peace that I've been praying for all week. I'm sure everyone can relate. Trials stink. Thank goodness they don't last forever!
Thinking of You
5 weeks ago