It's 12:15am now, which means it's the day of my surgery. I fell asleep at 10pm but had a CNA come in to check my vitals and can't get back to sleep.
I'm sitting here, alone, propped up in my hospital bed. The room is dark and I hear the humming of the A/C. Surprisingly, I feel calm. I even have a few moments when I forget why I'm here, until I feel the dull ache in my wrist from the IV, and my loud cough rattles the bed. Oh yes, I remember now. We learned some good news today, though. The dr said the tumor looked like it wasn't completely connected yet to my lower lobe, just dropping into it so it's looking like I 'might' get to keep it and only need my middle lobe removed. He did also say, however, if there was even a tiny bit of uncertainty about the tumor being attached, the lobe would need to come out. If even just one cancer cell is left behind, it will come back. So, crossing our fingers and hoping for the best today. I feel very confident in my doctors and their abilities, and I know I'm in very good hands. Just think, by this time tomorrow I will be cancer-free!! So happy and looking forward to saying those words.
Love you all,
Thinking of You
5 weeks ago