Tuesday, November 18, 2008

145

My weight loss journey began 4 months 23 days ago. I weighed 170 and wore XL tops and size 14 jeans. I thought today I would dedicate a post to my weight loss journey, not just these past couple months, but over the past couple years. I have lost 25 lbs. now which puts me at 145. I wear medium tops and size 8 pants. I want to lose 15 more, but I'm excited about where I am and know I will get there eventually. It's no secret, though, that I have struggled in this department off and on for years. It's not easy watching your body morph into a whale-like creature over and over. With each pregnancy I gained quite a bit of weight and stretch marks. After each baby was born I seemed to lose the first 20 lbs. easily but then had to work very hard to get the rest of the weight off. Also, with nursing I seemed to hold onto the weight or even gain more, rather than lose it (which was really frustrating.) I gained 70 lbs, lost 70, gained 40, lost 40, gained 18, gained 50, lost 38, and then lost another 25 (where I'm at now) all in 6 1/2 years. Too many times I found myself crying to Jake, telling him how ugly I felt. I knew deep down this was my problem. No one could fix it for me. No one could run for me or lift weights for me. I felt it was unfair, though, watching others pop out babies and wear their size 2s home from the hospital. That just wasn't my luck. I have to work hard to lose weight. That's just a fact. That's why moments like these are so much sweeter to me, because it's something that takes a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. As I've been looking through old pictures this morning, I've found some that didn't get posted on my blog because I was embarrassed about how 'big' I looked. I like looking at where I've been though because it proves how far I've come and motivates me to keep going further. You know, I'm happy when I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror. Of course there are things I would love to change (stretch marks gone and a little lift here and there) but overall, I like what I see... and that's something I haven't been able to say in a VERY long time (and I'm getting teary-eyed now, so I better stop.)

Here is a pic of Emma and I 2 weeks before Josh was born (weighing about 208!). I was so huge and miserable, but tried not to show it. ;) Anyone jealous of the stretch marks?! My Grammy told me they are war wounds and I agree with her.

I made this sling for Josh and was proud of myself, especially since it was probably the 10th time I used my sewing machine (around 175).

Here I am with Jake and our dear friends, the Crane's, Tate's, and Stacy Johnson (Brad was sick that night.) It was taken in January this year. I love the pic because our friends are in it, but cringe when I see myself because of my belly roll sticking out.

I was told once that I was the "fat sister." It really scarred me, especially after I saw this picture. I don't feel that way now. We are all beautiful and one person's opinion shouldn't matter to me.

My mom took this pic of Ben and I coming down a waterslide in Malaysia. I was really embarrassed after seeing my gut hang out, I didn't want to show it to anyone.

And here is my closet. Sunday I had to try on multiple outfits for church because nothing was fitting. I finally decided I needed to go through my clothes and take out anything that is too big and doesn't fit anymore so I know exactly what I have to work with. Well, here is what is left. (The plastic storage container has all my over-sized clothes.) I have 4 pairs of jeans (2 are a tad big and will be going in the bin soon.) 2 pairs of khakis (one pair is big). As for church clothes, I have 3 long skirts and 3 short skirts. Out of those, half are getting too big. Can you guess what I need for Christmas?! As great as this is, not so much for the checkbook. Hopefully I can get some good deals around Christmas!

36 comments:

Heidi said...

You look great! I think you look beautiful in all of your pictures, but it is amazing the difference that 25 pounds makes. Even emotionally - working out is such a great moral booster.
Anyway, if you ask me your hard work has definitely paid off! And, if you loose 15 more pounds there won't be anything left!

The Thornocks said...

Oh my gosh, you look like a tiny little hottie! It's really cool to see where you've come in such a short amount of time. I'm proud of you and think that the person who said you were the fat sister (yes, I know who they are) only said that because they are insecure themselves. Look at you now!

Cansas said...

You're awesome, and you look amazing!! Anyone that's had a baby has been there. I can tell I am going to gain a lot more weight with this pregnancy than I did with Gavin, and I'm dreading it. It is a horrible feeling to look in the mirror and not like what you see. You'll be my inspiration after this baby comes to hit the gym!

Cansas said...

Oh yeah! You should check out Ross. I discovered the store a few years ago, and I think it's amazing. Great deals and cute clothes. You just have to be willing to pick through stuff. Good Luck!

Kristine said...

You inspire me every time you post a progress update!

This part really hit home for me today and was just what I needed to hear, so thank you Jamie!

"Too many times I found myself crying to Jake, telling him how ugly I felt. I knew deep down this was my problem. No one could fix it for me. No one could run for me or lift weights for me. I felt it was unfair, though, watching others pop out babies and wear their size 2s home from the hospital. That just wasn't my luck. I have to work hard to lose weight. That's just a fact."

Chelsea said...

OH!! I am so proud of you! I love your posts. They are very inspiring. I think that a lot of us can relate to the "body morph." I think that we give up so much to be moms. Do we have to give up our bodies too? You are doing so good. You look GREAT!

Woodruff Family said...

You are my hero! I have always loved you no matter was size you were. You have always been such a great friend to me. I wish we could have done this together. Maybe I would have lost some by now, haha. You look so awesome and I don't think you even have 15 more to lose. I am proud of you and you should be too. Cansas is right about Ross. I love that store and I'm poor, so check it out if you havent already. Also, Kohls is having good sales on the skinny clothes. Love ya

Chad and Ashley said...

You look awesome Jamie! Good work. You are very inspiring as I sit here and eat something I shouldn't be eating :) I also like your grandma's comment about stretch marks.

Ben and Melanie said...

Looking better means a lot, but you have done so much more then look better. Jake would probably tell you that he has always thought you were beautiful, and I am sure he was telling the truth every time. To me the real triumph of your success comes in other ways. The part that I think is so impressive is how strong you really are.

Abbie Anna and Megan said...

You've always been beautiful. What a healthy glow you have though!!!
Your kids better appreciate each and every stretch mark. For every stretch mark that means they'll be extra good teenagers and on and on, right?

Jennifer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jennifer said...

I think the weight we fight with (not just the pregnancy stretch marks to grow a baby)are battle wounds too. I had just gotten back within two lbs of my pre-preg weight and now we are pregnant again. Which is fantastic of course and planned too, but it's a tough thing to give up again as well. I told Adam just tonight that I know I've let myself go when my maternity clothes are cuter than my post-preg clothes..haha! any way, im really proud of you, you are awesome. but then again, you always were. so are you all done having babies then? i know you go c-sections, i'd like to pump your brain about that some time. our first was emerg. c-section and im trying to decide if i should go that route again, healthwise and with the # of babies we want (or at least the option to have). i have my 10 yr reunion this summer, due may 20th, & am not looking forward to having to having to recover for 6 wks or whatever before trying to get this mess off again. any way, awesome job and thanks for sharing your story.

Julie G. said...

Good for you! I bet you are looking forward to your gift cards after Christmas! :)

Crystal said...

I think you are just amazing. I love to read your post on BBC because you are just so determined. You are an inspiration to all. I agree that it feels so good to work so hard at something and to see great results. I hope you get to your goal weight. And I hope you don't mind me lurking in on your progress.

The Bloxham Family said...

Jamie you are an inspiration to me. I am the biggest I have ever been so I need the blood, sweat and tears, because I'm so angry that I let myself get this big.
So if you have any advice I would love to hear or if you need a workout buddy I would love for somebody to go with me.
P.s I bought that same shirt:)

The Bloxham Family said...

Jamie you are an inspiration to me. I am the biggest I have ever been so I need the blood, sweat and tears, because I'm so angry that I let myself get this big.
So if you have any advice I would love to hear or if you need a workout buddy I would love for somebody to go with me.
P.s I bought that same shirt:)

The Bloxham Family said...

Sorry I pressed enter twice :)

peter said...

I know how you feel...just take a look at me standing next to you eight months pregnant. And now I'm struggling to find time to excercise...the schedule is just not working as well with number two. I remember being so proud of dropping the post-Katelyn weight and really feeling good about how I looked. I want that again and I'm glad you've found it.

Megan said...

Jamie you look incredible. Why can't I get motivated. Help.

Ksenia said...

You really look fantastic and need to post more pictures of yourself. But more importantly, I admire your attitude and determination. Like others have said, it is inspiring to read about the strength you find within yourself to do what you need to do to feel healthy and happy.

Danielle and the Boys said...

i don't know if you know me at all...we grew up in the same stake and i was in your parents' ward right after i got married...anyway. i just wanted to say congrats on how far you've come! you look AMAZING! its been quite inspiring for me to read your blogs since i'm working through the same thing you are right now. Losing weight. I started in August (after seeing how HUGE I was in a photo) and just hit 41 pounds lost. Its hard work but so incredible to see the results. Anyway, I'll stop blabbing. I'm SUPER HAPPY for you!!! Thanks for all the inspiration to keep plugging away even when I'm dragging! :)

M-GemBlaisdell said...

Wow Jamie! I really wish that you lived in Hillsboro. You are so AWESOME!! There are so many pressures on women to be the perfect wife, mother and super models for our husbands but what really matters is "how we feel about ourselves when we wake up in the morning".
This post really made me emotional. Maybe because I'm pregnant, but it brought me back to when I was working so hard to get in shape for our Portugal trip and thinking how great I would feel when I finally got to my goal weight... after I reached my goal I saw a picture of myself and all I could think was "Wow, losing all that weight really brings out my laugh lines and how big my nose is."

Beauty really comes from within and you are honestly one of the most beautiful people (inside and out)that I have ever met!

sportyrls said...

Way to go Jamie! You are doing such a great job! Way to dig deep and go for what you want- that really is so inspiring. :)

Also, thanks for posting the mystery song info on our blog- I'm so glad to have that figured out now : ). I didn't realize that song had several verses- thanks!

Iliana said...

Wow Jamie!! Wish I could catch the bug and just do it... you are really inspiring!

M-GemBlaisdell said...

Feeling pretty stupid for the going off on my own little tangent last night. I'm just pregnant, bloated and frustrated that I have nothing to wear to church on Sunday (nothing fits).

I forgot to say the #1 most important thing. You look increadible and I am so impressed with all that you've accomplished! I love how you are so in the moment and are feeling full satisfaction in your journey. Keep on rockin'!

Amber said...

Congrats Jamie! You are looking so good and I have to admit I am pretty jealous. Losing is hard, keep up the good work!

Brian and Carly said...

Man Jamie! You look great. I love how real you are. Thanks for sharing your triumph.

Linny said...

Jamie wha an inspiring post. It is hard the world we live in and the emphasis women have to look skinny. I can't tell you how tired I get of women acting like if they're skinny then that's all that matters. What about being a good mom, being a good wife, having a strong testimony? I'm so proud of you and really relate to your weight flux throughout the years. I love how open and honest you are and hope all these skinny girls will learn to shut up and stop complaining about their "fat pants" that are a size 4, nobody feels sorry for them, or at least I don't ;)

Bev Tate said...

you look amazing. to me you always have. you are an inspiration. love ya bev

Brian said...

Nice job! Now I just need to figure out how to GAIN 25 pounds! Sigh...

Emily said...

You look amazing! I think you deserve a new wardrobe for Christmas. Congrats!

Mindurs said...

You go girl! You are looking good and making me want to get my butt in gear to loose a few extra lbs.
GO UTES! Sorry had to add that!

Darren and Traci said...

I don't think I can say anything that someone else hasn't already said but it's amazing how one person's journey can be so touching and inspiring to so many people. I love your honesty and pictures along the way. It's so hard sometimes for us to be happy with ourselves no matter what size we are. We had a lesson today and the teacher was talking about that if it's not too fat it's too skinny, if it's not that it's maybe not the right shape, height, hair color, nose, eyes are too close, too far, whatever. I don't know if I'm just overly emotional today or something but your post really got to me and just makes me think about how sad it is that there are more times than not that we don't feel good enough about ourselves. It sucks that it takes a struggle to bring us back down to the basics and shows us what being happy is really all about but it's so sweet when we get it.

Thanks for your post and your moving words.

Whitney said...

Way to go, James. You give me oomph and inspiration to keep myself healthy. And you look so friggin' good!

Shellie said...

Jamie - you do look incredible. But, I do just want to point out that people say lame things all the time. I'm the "fat sister" in my family, so there. And, for the record, you might not like the picture of yourself in Malaysia, but I see one heck of a cool mom swimming with her little boy who loves her for it. Remember that. That's what makes you amazingly beautiful.

Verenice said...

Thanks for keeping it so real. I have a lot of war wounds too :) Keep it up!